I’m sure you’ve all seen those things on NBC where they say things like “Read stories to your kids, or else they’ll end up as Columbian Drug Lords who will hire hit men to kill you for your parenting skills that are so bad that you get your parental advice from television commercials”, right? Here’s the one I wrote and submitted to them. I don’t think I’ll hear back from them.

Also, please don’t sue me, NBC.

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